Recently I made a 999 call. I wasn’t sure if I doing the right thing - what if it was a just a bad argument? Surely they’d stop soon. Your instinct is to not interfere, to not get involved. Then, as it continued, what if I made it even worse for her by calling?
But the more I listened to the sounds coming from my neighbours’ flat, the more I realised this wasn’t just a bad argument. It wasn’t a normal argument. There was an aggression in his voice that scared me, spitting at her through gritted teeth like he was in front of her face, and there was fear in hers, she was crying and begging, apologising over and over. I realised I had to call the police.
When I heard it get physical, I started shaking and couldn’t stop, it was a horrible thing to listen to. I was on the phone to the 999 operator, describing what I was hearing. Someone had tried to open a door, the door was slammed, they were thrown against it, the thud and the walls echoed, rubber trainers squeaked on the floor, and the woman’s cry of pain was muffled - it sounded like she’d been hit, and then dragged.
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When the police spoke to me afterwards, and I asked if she was okay - they couldn’t tell me much, but they said something that haunted me, made it real, made me realise I’d done the right thing.
‘When we entered the property, it was clear that there had been a physical assault.
An arrest needed to be made.
But she’s going to be fine.’
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There’s something about the nature of domestic abuse that makes people not want to report it - it’s a crime, yes, it’s bad, yes - but it’s like you’re conditioned to believe that what goes on behind closed doors is not your business.
I wanted to share my experience in the hope that it encourages you to listen and look out for each other in this strange time, and not to doubt your instincts - if something doesn’t sound right, don’t let your fear of ‘interfering’ or ‘causing a fuss’ or ‘making it worse’ stop you from making what might be a very important call.
I had to make myself think about the possibility of a time no one hears it, no one reports it, and the situation turns fatal. Think about if it was you, or your family, or friend that this was happening to - the ‘what if’, the uncertainty of their safety, that should make you call.